Still Undecided!

I'm still becoming accustomed to different formats and I'm not sure what I'm going to settle on for which blog or even if I'm going to have more than one blog. This is just one of those long processes that I have yet to think through.

Thank you all for bearing with me while I go through this transition phase. In the meantime, I'm going back to work, to see if I can find something that reflects a little more of me.


Keep the faith!
Happy New Year!


PEACE
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Merry Christmas (or Not)

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday,practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religiouspersuasion of your choice, and with respect for the religiouspersuasions of others or their choice not to practice a religion atall; a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year2004, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of othercultures whose contributions to our society have helped make Americagreat, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexualpreferences of the wishes.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It impliesno promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes forher/himself or others.


PEACE!
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UPDATE ONE

I have been designing like you wouldn't believe. So much so that I have hardly had time to do much else. I've been working on new schemes, new themes, preparing for the new year.
I'm also fighting depression because my birthday is coming up. I'm still not quite sure I feel about being so close to 50.

I've also recognized that I can't just use this particular blog for design ideas. Designing, as the new year starts, will become more and more of my life. I'll try to post more personal issues --my recipes, my hopes, dreams and all that fun stuff that helps you get to know me better.

Amanda Rockwell has a wonderful class at at ScrapArtist . She has some really great tutorials and the price to join considering all that is available is very affordable.

I'm fortunate that Amanda, Cindy Ritter, and Stacey Crossley have taken me under their wings. I feel like I'm being mentored by the best, most original, most creative confident designers there are in this industry. What I love about all of them is that this is really a business for them, not a hobby, not something to do to kill time. They are setting great examples and for me they have raised the stakes. I think I'm up to the challenge.

PEACE!
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Design Classes Anyone?

I have been receiving mentoring from some of the best designers in the digiscrapping business. For the sake not having any controversy, I'm not going to name them here, but they all know who they are.
For weeks now, they have been cramming my brain with color theory, design ideas, marketing plans. I am slowly shaping a business. I am becoming a business. I am enjoying the transformation.

So within the next few weeks, look for not necessarily a "better" me, but certainly a "different" me. I'll give you updates as I move along. PEACE! ADD

A Class Act

There is a designer whose email tonight nearly brought me to tears. Let me go back.
I know I'm not even close to the best designer out there. I try really hard to produce a quality product, but even so, sometimes, it just doesn't cut the grade that others would like to see.

In this industry, we spend too much time being unnecessarily nice. We need to accept and face the fact that sometimes the truth hurts. And that sometimes it is necessary that we be the bearer of that truth.

I had applied several times to a store that I really liked, a store that I aspired to --my Neiman's if you will. The owner never responded to my queries. So fast forward a a year and I find myself added to her friends list on a mutual group, uninitiated by me. Well of course, it begged the question from me of how she could add me as a friend, but not respond to an inquiry about a position at her store. I thought it was a mistake and that as soon as she realized it was me she would remove me and that would be the end of it. Instead, I received this:

"I apologize for not responding to your letters. Sometimes it's very difficult to tell someone you are not interested in their work. I have visited your store several times and even your blog (which i believe i left you a message there, perhaps you never got it). I did wish i could offer you a spot at*********but your style just does not fit. While you seem perfectly suited for the stores you are at in order to get into some of the other stores you would need to push your designs and packaging in a new direction. I'm not sure if you are willing to do that. In this industry i find we all have our own style of working. So depending on your goals you kind of have to decide how much you are willing to change. Or if in fact you even want to.
If you'd like some suggestions i'd be more than willing to help you out."


How cool is that! How classy is that? All this time, I thought she was being a stuck up, arrogant... well you get the idea. She was sparing MY feelings. You know, I've been hurt by so many people intentionally, that it never occured to me that someone would actually try to spare me pain. I am blown away. I want to thank her. I want to apologize. I want to give her my phone number, pick her brain, find out everything, sit at the side of the mistress and learn.

This wonderful designer woman is a class act. This is rare that she would not only try to spare my feelings (most of the designers don't even think I have feelings), but she offered to help me become better at what I want to do.

Thank you to you, Miss Anonymous Designer. You know who you are!




PEACE!
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Out of my Mind? Well Yeah

I thought that I was going to be cutting back on everything, concentrate more on my family, find more time --much more time-- to concentrate on me. I put away fabric and patterns, stopped reading trade manuals and magazines. Literally, I was going to start being a casual observer of life. But those who know me, know well that I am anything but a casual observer of anything, particularly life so that idea lasted long enough for me to get my harddrive repaired.

Now I'm in two new stores (5 total), 6 if you include my own personal place. I know, I know it's not what I should have done, but I'm so incredibly pleased with my acquisitions. I love my new stores. I'm so excited I could just spit!

I know those of you that see me around DST will notice the changes in my siggy (if anyone has been paying attention) so once I have my stores up and running with products, I'll be ready to announce.

Would you all pray for me please that I'm not spreading myself too thin, that I'm not getting in over my head? Right now, I'm just trying to make sure I've got enough new and interesting and good, solid products to please the masses.

I'll be rolling out more stuff for you guys later this week!


PEACE!
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Come Together

There are rifts and issues in my family that have existed longer than the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. We have been so angry at each other for so long that any of the seven of us would be hard pressed to give a reason for this angst. Sadly my concern for a stranger on the street was more real than these people that I shared DNA and history.

Well not anymore. I don't know what caused this epiphany. I was sitting at my computer, working on a research paper about holding grudges and how it affects health. I sipped my coffee and suddenly, I had the urge to talk with (not AT) my oldest sister. The last time I saw her was at our mother's funeral. What should have been a time of reflection and reverence became a ghetto-fied, stereotypical embarrassment to the human condition. We never came together as siblings to truly grieve. We were too busy assigning blame. So I called her. (I took two valium first, said a prayer second and took several deep breathes.) She didn't recognize my voice. Why would she since she hadn't heard it in a humble tone in more than 25 years.
I was loaded for bear, ready to hear dial tone after a being called a myriad of expletives. I was knocked down. We laughed; we cried; we talked. For six years, there has been a void in my life that I've always assumed was a result of our mother's passing. I realize that it was deeper. The same grief that I feel because my granddaughter was whisked away to Morocco on such short notice, I was experiencing at the loss of my family. I truly missed my sister. Every so often, I would run across a picture of her in my old photo albums and despite everything in me, I would smile. She is a beautiful, beautiful woman. Eleven years my senior, she was one of my primary caretakers while my mother worked. She taught me to read, encouraged my writing. She paralleled my mother when she had her own children and showed me the true meaning of sacrifice. For as long as I can remember, she was always as proud of my accomplishments as she was for my nieces and nephews. Her hugs were genuine, her kisses real, her laugh infectious. This is what I missed. This is what we took tentative steps to rebuild. Three hours later, we reluctantly heeded the low-battery warnings of our phones and promised to call each other often.Wow, that was such a positive experience that I decided to press my luck. I called my oldest brother, 23 years my senior, same circumstances. And there was no answer. Alright, I figured that he saw my number on the caller id and decided not to pick up. Leave it to me to always think of the negative first. An hour or so later, his number showed up when my phone rang and he was literally out of breathe. The phrases were rushed, hurried, nearly panicked. He came home and saw my number. Knowing that I was his only relative in Oklahoma and that he had no other business here, he thought that something was terribly wrong. Why else would a sister who didn’t even bother to call him after his wife had a stroke make contact now? He was genuinely concerned that my health or one of the kids was in jeopardy! He started with “Is everything okay?” Not “why the heck are you calling me after six years?” After waylaying his fears, I told him why I called. He told me that there wasn’t a day that passed that he didn’t struggle with calling me, but he didn’t want to cause me any pain. Two hours on the phone, passing between him and the children and back and forth over and over, we reluctantly decided that rest was needed. After all, we’re getting old. He told me that he could never stop loving me, no matter what. After we hung up, I held the phone and cried.


My birth family is a hodgepodge of diversity. My oldest brother and I are Muslims. The twins are devout Christians. My oldest sister is agnostic and still the other holds more of our Native Lakota heritage beliefs. My other brother is the most atheist that I’ve ever seen. We all have or had children. Now we all have grandchildren. It was an embarrassment to us that our children barely know each other, yet they are cousins. Our mother would not be pleased. Let me assure you that this was not how we were raised. We know better. We just let emotions and passions, obstinacy and stupidity get in the way of reason and logic and family. We forgot that we were blood. We Muslims just celebrated Eid ul Adha. The my sisters are preparing for Christmas and the Winter Solstice. My second brother is just waiting to see whose menu he wants to partake. We are all looking forward to my birthday. These are indeed times for family. Even though we are separated by miles, the distances are less than 10 hours apart. Fortunately, my oldest brother lives in a place of continual warm weather. He has taken the lead and opened his home to ALL of us and our passels of tag-alongs.


In this season of family, I am reaching out and rebuilding mine. Life’s too short to hold a grudge. Let go. For real. Call somebody. If nothing else your side of the street will be clean. And who among us couldn’t use a little cleanliness?



PEACE!
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PS: Thank you Cindy and Stacey (you know who you are!)

Here are a few of my released products that I've been playing with. Who doesn't need borders? These are commercial use. No credit is required, but it is appreciated.















You can visit any of my stores for spectacular deals!


There's more to come!




PEACE!
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Organize Day1

I finally started organizing my files today!! YES YES YES!
I have been postponing organization for months. Today, with the cold weather and a pending ice storm, I didn't have anything better to do. (Well I could have found something to do, but this was more like a job assisgnment.)

I have spent the day indoors, at the computer, uploading, downloading, crossloading. Now I'm going to do more! I'm on a mission.

I'm doing this the flylady way. Babysteps. Focusing on small goals. Now I'm doing it and it seems wonderful.

Stay tuned! Even the site might take on a few more changes before the day is out.



PEACE!
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Save Me from Myself

Okay, here's the thing.
Lately, I've been somewhat scatty. I'll readily admit it. My mind has been racing, concentration has been difficult. I would gather that the people I live with would say that I've been somewhat "persnickity". None of this has been on purpose.

It started Thanksgiving Day. The hard drive in my working computer (as opposed to the one that everyone plays on all the time) failed miserably. It was real bad. There was the sound of like, metal against metal, grinding and then nothing, not even the blue screen of death. I had a million emails that I NEEDED to retrieve and no way to get any of them. At first it seemed hopeless. I called Dell (thankfully on Thanksgiving, it was still under warranty). Good news. Hard drive would be replaced. Bad news. It wouldn't happen until Tuesday or so (because of the holiday). Good news. Black Friday. So I run to Circuit City and get me a cute little HP Pavillion Slimline --500gig, with a 20inch flatpanel monitor. Schweeeeeeeeeeet!

So I'm transfering data from my external to my new computer, and resigned to the idea of waiting until next week to get the old data off my other computer when the UNTHINKABLE happens. While plugging in my new keyboard, I knocked the external drive onto the floor. I already have a weak heart. I swear to you, I almost gave it up right then. Picture Fred Sanford grabbing his chest "I'm coming to join you, honey!" I was there. I was close. I had to take a pill. Actually, I took several. And the next day, I managed to crawl out of bed to a phone and call Beyond Communications (formerly OKC Computers) and told my tale of woe to Cory. I love him. He and his wife are wonderful. He came right over grabbed the external and took it home. I stayed in bed. I didn't want to look at a computer.

Another day passed. I got the courage to call Cory and braced myself for the bad news. But there was good news. It wasn't the hard drive that was damaged. It was the casing. So all of the data could be recovered!!! I was one truly happy black woman.

So the rollercoaster has seemingly ended. I have a new computer. I have my old computer with a new harddrive. It didn't cost me my first born to have data recovery. I'm up and running and all is right in the world (sort of). And now it's off to design.

PSA: BACK UP YOUR BACK UPS!!


PEACE!
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Digiscrap Discrimiation

I had to speak out today about discrimination. I've received a couple of emails and a few private messages telling me that I was out of line. Let me tell you what happened.

There was a designer call asking specifically for Christian designers. The store owner wanted testimonies, church affiliations and alot of information that is highly inappropriate for a business. You must understand that there are different mindsets within the digiscrapping community. There are those that take this lightly, that are off and on. It's more of a hobby. Then there are those that want Digital Scrapbooking to be recognized and respected as a business. When I say that I work from home I want people to understand that the reason I have a sign on my door and posted hours of business is because I'm busy. I have set hours. I take lunch. I purchase trade magazines and keep up with business trends. I look at different marketing ideas. I treat my job here as a business. Many of us do.

I have written in the past about digital designing as a hobby versus a business. Apparently, it went unnoticed by those that needed to hear/see it most. So let's revisit this topic.

When you are operating a business, be it a virtual business on the internet or a brick and mortar establishment, there are rules that have to be followed. You keep track of taxes. If you have employees, even if they are independent contractors, there are management duties. You must keep records of payouts.

Now there are those that jump into this business (and yes it really is a business) thinking that they can make a quick buck, make massive amounts of cash and then retire to Fiji. That's the fantasy. The reality is that our market is so saturated that it is sometimes difficult for those who can make a decent living to actually make one. The recession has hit us all. People aren't buying like they used to. And unless you've been established for awhile, the likelihood of pulling in 4 or 5 hundred a month is slim.

But let me get back to the issue. When you work at a company, there are guidelines. The owners can't ask you if you're married, how many children you have, if you're gay, how old you are, do you hold down other jobs, what religion you are. Now they can NOT hire you for any reason, but if they give a reason, please GOD don't let it be one of those federally protected things. There are fines to pay. You could lose it all. And if you say these things to me: I'm not hiring Muslims, blacks, single women, people over 40 whatever... I will own you. It's called discrimination. Haven't we had enough of that nonsense in this country already?

Now there are those who would argue that there are companies that hire only Mormons or Black people or gays or whomever they choose. I am not an idiot and I know that they aren't either. And if I went to apply for a job at a Mormon bookstore in my full Islamic wear, they would be cordial and take my application and a few days later I would get the call that they had filled the position or I wasn't quite right for the job or something. But you can bet your hinnie that they wouldn't tell me that it was because I was a muslim.

This isn't the 50s or 60s when it was perfectly acceptable (though still incredibly wrong) to tell people that they couldn't be a receptionist because the company didn't want colored girls in the front lobby. Some of us have experienced this first hand and now when we see it still years, DECADES later, we have to speak out and let you know that it's wrong.

Now what you do with that information is between you and your God. But know that the God I believe in is all inclusive.


(Next time, I really will stick to the business versus hobby thing)

PEACE!
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